Leading with Confidence: What Moms Can Teach Their Teens About Decision-Making and Influence

Decision Making in a flash

“I often know what to do—but I hesitate. What if I make the wrong call?”This statement came from a seasoned professional in a leadership coaching session, a woman who’s been in the Learning & Development space for years. She runs training after training, and yet, when it comes to personal influence and making confident decisions, there's still a whisper of self-doubt.

Sound familiar?

For many women in leadership—especially mothers—this internal conflict isn’t rare. We play multiple roles. We strive to lead, nurture, guide, and grow. And sometimes, in the noise of doing all things for everyone, we second-guess ourselves. This post is not just about leadership at work. It's about how your own inner leadership style affects how you raise your children—especially daughters, and equally, sons.

Let’s break down what this means—and how to turn our self-reflections into coaching moments for our kids.

The Invisible Weight of “Getting It Right”

One of the most powerful patterns that emerged during the coaching session was this:

“I don’t want to take the wrong decision, so I think too much in advance.”

This anticipatory overthinking—often called “analysis paralysis”—is common among female leaders. Not because they don’t know what to do, but because the stakes feel higher. Women are socially conditioned to be more agreeable, to not appear too bold, to second-guess before they self-promote or demand what they deserve.

Now, imagine your daughter watching you hold back on speaking up in meetings or hearing you say, “I’m not sure if I should do this.” These quiet moments shape her understanding of leadership and influence. Similarly, your son is observing how women in leadership roles operate—he’s forming beliefs about confidence, authority, and power.

Coaching Cue #1: Normalize Gut-Feeling Decisions

Children, especially teens, are often discouraged from trusting their instincts. They’re told to follow logic, structure, and rules.

But ask any leader, and they’ll tell you: some of the best decisions come from gut feeling.

Try this with your teen:🔹 Ask them to recall a time they followed their gut and it worked out.🔹 Then ask about a time they ignored it and regretted it.

Now share your story. Maybe a time you didn't ask for what you deserved—or a time you did, and what changed. These stories become powerful teaching tools.

Coaching Cue #2: Redefine What Influence Looks Like

The coaching participant said, “I do a lot of trainings, but I want to make more impact.”This desire to influence more deeply is not about doing more. It’s about owning your voice.

Talk to your teens about the difference between power and influence. Influence isn’t just about being loud or visible. It's about being consistent, clear, and aligned with values. Help them identify the spaces where they already have influence—maybe among peers, siblings, or a team they lead.

Coaching Cue #3: Unpack Their Decision-Making Style

One of the homework questions from the session was:

“How does my decision-making style get in my own way?”

What a brilliant question to bring to the dinner table.

Teens often think decisions are either right or wrong. Help them see decision-making as a process—not a pass/fail test. Walk them through how you made a recent decision. Talk through the doubts, the evaluation, and what gave you clarity. And then ask:

• “How do you usually decide things?”

• “What makes you hesitate?”

• “If you were more confident, what would change?”

The goal isn’t to give answers. It’s to invite reflection.

What If You Demanded More?

One of the most moving lines from the coaching conversation was this:

“I wish I were more secure about my decisions. I don’t demand for something…”

Here’s the truth: when women hesitate to ask for more—whether it’s support, recognition, or autonomy—it teaches the next generation to settle.

Let your children see you assert your needs. Let them hear you say “I deserve this.” Let them witness you taking up space without apology. And then, coach them to do the same.

From Inner Work to Outer Impact

Coaching isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being aware.

So as you navigate your own leadership journey—your hesitations, your confidence dips, your evolving decision-making process—know this: your children are learning from your inner work.

Model reflection. Speak your lessons out loud. Let your journey be a mirror and a map.

Because when you grow, they grow.

Reflection Prompts for Parents and Teens:

• What’s a decision I made recently that I feel good about? Why?

• When have I let fear of a wrong move stop me from acting?

• What does influence mean to me?

• Where in my life do I want to be more confident?

Start these conversations this week. You’ll be surprised how much wisdom flows—both ways.

Want more parenting prompts that build inner leadership? Let’s connect. 🌱